E B A I’d like to do some calculations E B A In the hopes that I’ll come to some realizations. C#m My mind is not what it used to be, B That certainly isn’t news to me, C#m But I want to know how my life was spent A B Now that I know that I’m near the end. E B A So I add, subtract, multiply, and divide E B A To try and figure out what I did with my life. E B E I spent twenty-seven years in my bed, E B A E And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead. E B E B I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing, E B E B And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing. C#m I spent twenty-five years working for a guy, B That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die, A But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend, E A B E So I guess it all makes sense at the end. E B A I spent nearly a full year masturbating, E B A Second only to the year we spent copulating. C#m I know you’re not a fan of this vulgarity, B But completeness is important for full clarity. C#m I spent more than seven years watching television, A B And how could I not regret that decision, E A B But I don’t think that I’ll ever know how much time, E A B I did or didn’t spend lookin’ into your eyes. E B E I spent twenty-seven years in my bed, E B A E And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead. E B E B I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing, E B E B And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing. C#m I spent twenty-five years working for a guy, B That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die, A But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend, E A B E So I guess it all makes sense at the end. E B A I’ve never known any way but numbers and sums E B A To understand what we are and what we have become, C#m But like numbers are perfect, that’s how this has been for me, B And I hope that I still give you everything you need. C#m Eighty years alive and four eating food. A B Five reading books and fifty-seven with you. E A B Two eyes, one nose, one smile, one life. E A B It somehow isn’t ever quite enough time. E B E I spent twenty-seven years in my bed, E B A E And there’s not much that I would’ve preferred to do instead. E B E B I spent two years chewing, and six months wooing, E B E B And, I’m sure you’re curious, almost three years pooing. C#m I spent twenty-five years working for a guy, B That I wanted to kill when I didn’t want to die, A But I spent fifty-seven years loving you my friend, E A B E So I guess it all makes sense at the end. E A B E Oh, I guess it all makes sense at the end. E A B E Yeah, I guess it all makes sense at the end.